Back to Jaw About Odyssey

by John Beebee

Thank you to John Beebee for this tongue-in-cheek look at possible Odyssey ideas.

A strange day in Odyssey when some painted hippopotamuses (hippopotami?) break loose from a visiting circus and scatter throughout town. (June ’92)

As part experiment, part curiosity, Eugene starts feeding his Super-Duper Protein Booster shakes to a garden of innocent vegetables in a forgotten corner of a greenhouse.

When Eugene leaves on a week’s vacation, the vegetables continue growing at an alarming rate, until a ten foot carrot crashes through the glass wall, several multi-ton egg plants escape and come rolling down the slopped street, and a mutant radish takes on a higher intelligence and organizes the rest of the vegetables into a radical gang of revolutionaries. Everything’s in chaos till a representative of V-8 Juice arrives with a plan. (11/1/92)

After a night of too much pizza, Eugene dreams Whit’s End is taken over by an army of yogurt-hungry aliens. At first Eugene is terrified, until he learns all they really want is a little culture in their lives. (2/25/93)

The sky turns dark pink over Odyssey as an ominous flock of killer flamingos comes to town. Folks are in a quandary until Bart Rathbone comes up with an ingenious plan using lawn ornaments and bologna sandwiches. (Unknown date)

As part of a cross-country tour, the McDoogle Pickle Company comes to Odyssey in a giant PickleMobile. Bart and the Bones Boys decide to steal it. The Odyssey Police take off in hot pursuit, chasing the runaway Pickle down the highway. It seems there’s not way to stop the Colossal Cucumber, until someone from the Ronco Corporation arrives at the roadblock with a giant Vegematic. (10/29/97)

Whit must don an Elvis costume to save the life of a little girl.

Same idea with a BeeGees costume. (5/15/98)

Jared bites into a Twinkie—and discovers a lost Elvis song buried in the sugary cream filling. Inspired, Jared launches into a singing career that catapults him to fame (at least on community access television). (11/5/98)

As part of the "Sister Cities" program, The Most Supreme Ruler of Upper South-Eastern Zonzo-Benaygo arrives in Odyssey with a very special "gift"—a symbol of liberty in his country—a 67 foot high statue of a bronze chicken. Now a fight erupts in city council—no one wants a 67 foot chicken anywhere near them. But little do they know an extremely surprising, apocalyptic twist awaits them all. (6/17/99)

A miscalculation on the Imagination Station sends Eugene back to the 70’s—right in the middle of a disco, featuring a leisure suit fashion show. Eugene frantically tries to talk his way out of his modeling debut as he attempts to get the Imagination Station functioning again--but it’s not working. Can he escape the 70’s without being unduly overcome by the perils of polyester? (7/30/99)

A bus transporting a traveling troupe of midget mimes breaks down in Odyssey. To help pay for their bus repairs, the little mimes offer to perform their famous hat tricks on Kids Radio. Whit says his heart goes out to them, "but you know, I think it’s just too visual." (9/1/99)

The Mulligans are confronted by a roving pack of rabid Chihuahuas. In desperation, they call the local Chihuahua expert—who determines that Lisa’s tuba playing is actually attracting the little dogs, but could end up causing harm to them in their mentally deranged state. The moral dilemma: Do Mr. and Mrs. Mulligan tell their daughter that her tuba music isn’t fit for the dogs? Or do they risk being nibbled to death at the ankles? (9/17/99)