He never had a show about him, no Oscar the Insecure, no Oscar's Dad is drunk.
He always played the minion, so that always kind of stunk.

He played sidekick to Robyn, Curt, Jimmy, and Jack.
Jack once thought Oscar and Lucy were going out behind his back.

He ruined Robyn's volcano, as well as the Barclay's TV,
But he'll always be the best Odyssey kid, at least according to me.

We never hear his family, except Tony and Henry, his brothers;
No trace of his grandma and grandpa, and his father and his mother.

He could never quite grasp the concept of really anything,
But, as we learned in Front Page News, well, he likes to sing.

He almost got his own plot, in a show called That's Not Fair,
But he only got 1/3 of the show, because with Connie and Donna he shared.

For Joseph Cammarato, Oscar was a role that he well fit
And another great thing about Oscar is he sounds exactly like young Whit.

Oscar was the greatest, much better than Charles or Sam
And when he left in 1990, I was not a happy man.

He never had the biggest parts or all the greatest lines,
But without him Heatwave and Front Page News wouldn't be great time after time.